Sunday, January 29, 2012

It's the little things

Content Note: This is part two of a series on abuse. Part One. Trigger warning for substance abuse and bullying.
Yesterday I had to get a bag of miscellaneous (but important) things that I accidentally left at my mother's house. It's a two hour drive to get there, about 4.5 hours round trip, so I stayed overnight.

I'm mostly okay physically. I just wish I had driven back last night instead of overnighting it.

I started a different post to continue this series shortly after I finished the last one, but I have yet to finish it. In the meantime, things have continued to escalate.

I mentioned last time that my brother had a beer in his hand when he yelled at me. I didn't make a huge deal of it because his behavior was inexcusable regardless of his level of sobriety. However, there's that, and then there's substance abuse.

Last night my brother took prescription meds that weren't his for a "hurt shoulder." I can't make any statement on the veracity of that claim, but I can say that he took more of the other person's medicine, actually went over the dosage for the day. He also said both that he felt fine and that the medicine wasn't helping. My conclusion is that he wanted to get high. He argued with my mother over taking this greater dose, and ended up taking it anyway. And then he went for the beer, after arguing with both me and my mother about the wisdom of that decision. And kept arguing every time he went to get one, because one of us would speak up, and he would just keep going until we stopped responding, and then get another beer.

Meanwhile, we were both alarmed and worried that he was going to accidentally kill himself because of the drug interactions mixed with the overdose. He completely disregarded our feelings in favor of getting drunker. He was not making good decisions, but seemed convinced that because he had tried something similar before, he was automatically going to be fine again.

So naturally this whole situation was making me deeply uncomfortable, especially given the alcoholic step-father who just left. More than anything, I want to never see my brother again.

And you know what really irritated me last night, instead of just upsetting me? At one point he decided that while I was on my computer, he was going to show me pictures on his phone regardless of whether I wanted to or not. I in fact told him that I didn't want to, and he insisted, "Just look at them all, it won't take long." Since he was shoving it in my face and not moving it until I looked, I didn't really have a choice.

Once again proving that he doesn't care about what I want, and will force me to do things against my will. And that ticks me off.

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